Love Hating
by FemaleNightWolf
Summary: Clarke is a gang leader. What happen when she's kiddnaped by Lexa, the leader of the GroundersGang, the most powerful of the city ? A story teaching that love can become hate and hate become love.
1. Chapter 1 : Memories

**Note from the author : please don't be too rude with me because it's my first fanfic and for the english it's probably not the best cause I'm french and only 15.**

 **Do not hesitate to let reviews so that I can know if you like the story and if there is anything I should change.**

 **I don't know exactly what will be the lap between each chapter because I have a lot of work but I assure you it will be 1 week maximum.**

 **Hope you'll enjoy ; )**

Chapter 1 :

Clarke wasn't seeing anything and she had a terrible headache. She was just so fucking confused and didn't understand at all what was happening.

Suddenly, her memory came back. « Oh shit ! ». No, it wasn't possible, it must have been a bad dream again. She will wake up in her bed, or probably on the floor since she always fall of her bed during those dreams.

But then she realized that she wasn't in her room. Still confused and numbness, she hadn't get that her hands were tied together with a solid link. And the darkness probably came from the bag of fabric around her head. She reconsidered the memory that she thought was a bad dream. Now she understood that it probably wasn't one :

 _After a good day of business, Clarke was finally going home to sleep a little. She was happy about the fact that she had concluded lot of big deals in the day. Her people and she were finally getting important in this dark world, where everything was possible. For an instant she remembered of who she was when she had join the SkyGang five years ago wich she was now the chief of : she was twenty, so young and naive. But after being let by herself by her parents and incapable to find a job she had no choice. Her friend Octavia had then told her that her brother Bellamy was winning a lot of money by doing some ladle but easy stuff in a gang. At first, Clarke was totally shoked by her friend idea but then she realized that she had to, if she didn't want to live in the street. So she had just follow her friend and start doing easy stuff like carying packages (probably drugs but she didn't know at the time) from one place to an other. And then she had just be rising in the gang hierarchy, developping talents that she never thought she could have. Even if she still had a hearth, she was tottaly insensible when it came to killing. She actually only cared for her gang and the people in it. She had just past througheveryone, even people that where there well before her, like Bellamy, who was now her second and the only one with Octavia that she considered as a friend. And now she was the gang chief at twenty-five. She could be proud of her quick evolution and she was._

 _« Ah, I sometime wish I could just be the old Clarke, so naive and innocent... » she whispered, living those memories._

 _She tapped the code of her building and entered in it. She was still a little bit worried about what Bellamy told her : two members of the GroundersGang (the most powerful of the city) had been killed in a conflict by a group of her own gang. But as it was the GroundersGang who tried to attacked first, she had nothing to worried about, it was there fault._

 _She put off her keys to enter in the darkness of her flat._

 _Suddenly, she felt a_ _pinch on her arm ans the only thing that she remembered after that was the voice of a young man saying : "Okay, we got her without problem. Heda will be glad". Then, the darkness._

Clarke left her thought when a big shock happend, pushing her to a wall. She only then realized that she was in some truck, and that it was stopping. At this moment a hand grabed her by the arm and made her left the truck.

"Common" said the man, "we arrived".

They walked a little before stopping. The man removed the bag from the head of the blonde, who was dazzled by the sudden amount of light. After a few seconds of adaptation, she clearly saw the woman in front of her. And when the blue eyes met the green ones, Lexa smirked.

"Hello Clarke, happy to see me ?"


	2. Chapter 2 : Apprehension

**Hey so I know that the first chapter and this one aren't very long (this one is longer) but the next ones will probably be bigger.**

 **Don't hesitate to let some reviews to tell me what do you think of the story and what I should change : )**

 **Hope you'll enjoy )**

Chapter 2 :

When Aden removed the bag from Clarke's head, Lexa was a bit afraid. It was normal for the GroundersGang to scared some rivals gang becoming dangerous and Lexa never had this kind of bad feeling about it. But this time was different and it was really strange for her. Looking at the blonde curiously, she conviced herself that it was just some feminim solidarity, but she knew that it wasn't only that.

Clarke was normally dressed up, with a jean and a black T-shirt but it just parfectly suited her. The sun was shinning in her hair making them shined as pure gold. And those eyes... it was like having a small part of the ocean just in front of her... The mix of it was just so beautiful... How could Lexa ever wanted to hurt such a beauty ?

« Fuck, contained yourself Lexa ! » thought the girl, « She's your rival, and you can't have any compassion or feeling for her, you promised yourself to never have ! »

She had to do those things. It was her way, their way.

So when Clarke opened her big blue eyes, Lexa just smirked a little and says with a mocking tone : « Hello Clarke, happy to see me ? ». She was expecting Clarke to respond, because she wasn't the one to be impressed. But when their gaze met, all Clarke could see in those pretty blue eyes was fear. She realized that Clarke was probably really afraid to be kidnapped by the most powerful gang in the city. Lexa always forgot that people doesn't actually saw her as she really was. They thought that she was ready to do anything to save her gang and that she was totally hearthless.

The first part was actually right but not the second one : she did had a pinch in the heart when she pressed her knife into innocents hearths and her hearth was well present (she could bet that Aden, sitting next to her had heard it) when they looked at the videos that the cameras secretly placed in the SkyGang quarter had took of the blonde, when she was yelling at people and laying into the couch that seemed to be her principal source of rest.

With a scared voice, Clarke broke the silence and sayed : « You...You are Lexa Woods ? The leader of the GroudersGang ? »

« Yes, that's me. » Lexa calmly replied even if her head was crashing by thinking so many things at the same time « You can call me Heda or Commander but never say my real name. It's reserved to the people really close to me. ».

Suddenly, Lexa saw those so afraid blue eyes turned into anger.

« Who do you think you are for kidnapping me like that ? » yelled the blonde.

« Well that's the Clarke I know » Lexa couldn't help but smirking again « And I can do whatever I want for your concern ». Lexa was still looking at the blond but seriously this time, showing Clarke that she wasn't there to play.

"What do you want?" Clarke said calmerly, knowing that shouting would lead to nothing.

« Actually, I think you know why you're here. Two of my men were killed by yours yesterday and I won't accept that » said Lexa. But she knew that it wasn't enough. This was just an excuse to weaken the SkyGang, which were starting to become a serious rival.

« Common, you sent those men to steel a drug's cargo from us and you really thought that we wouldn't react or something ? » Clarke was yelling again.

A man approached Lexa, saying that she was required for an outside intervention.

« Anya » said the brunette, « can you carry Clarke to the guest room please ? We will continue this conversation later.»

Lexa leaved without a look to the blonde, apprehending this futur talk.

« Get up » Anya said before moving. Clarke followed her only thinking to those green eyes, that had fixed her so strangely all the time. The blonde knew that she should have hate the brunette, but she would have wanted to be any other thing that a rival to Lexa. She was so impressive with her leather clothes and that black makeup around her green eyes making her so mysterious.

« It's here » said Anya, pulling Clarke out of her thought. They entered in a room. It was pretty small and had no windows but there was a bed, a TV, a small table with one chair and she could see a small shower in an other room. She was actually relieved, she had thought that it would have been well worst.

« An advice : if she ask you any question, you should respond. Or there will have blood » Anya had said that so suddenly that Clarke had jump a little. It made Anya laugh « But don't be so scared, Lexa is not a monster. Well actually she is but not a bad one you know » she said with a smile before leaving the room and locking the door.

Clarke was scared. Anya had told her that this Lexa or Heda or whatever could be violent if she didn't answered her questions. But what question would she have to answered ? She deeply knew that she will have to take some punches.

Another thing frightened her. She had probably disapeard for a long time now and it wasn't the night anymore since she had saw the sun high in the sky. Her people had probably noticed her abscence and Bellamy will soon understand what had happen. Unfortunatly, he used to be a little bit upset when his people security was in danger. So Clarke was really scared that her friend would make a stupid move. The SkyGang was rising yes but it was still nothing compared to the GroundersGang and the blonde knew that attacking them would just lead to their lost. And she was sure that this Commender was expecting that.

But she couldn't do anything from where she was. So to relax she turned on the TV and seeing that there was a Netflix account, she just began a tv show. She couldn't really foccussed on it but it was a good distraction to wait for her rival.

About three hours later, Lexa came in Clarke's room and with a little smile winning from her good intervention she said, looking in those suddenly confused and scared blue eyes : « Now we can talk. ». And she put off the door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3 : the Room

**Hey so I'm really sorry for the late. I just had too much work to do as my holidays just ended.**

 **And once again sorry for the english, I'm french and I haven't finish to learn this language but I do my best.**

 **Hope you'll enjoy this chapter and don't forget to leave reviews if you have something to say :)**

Chap 3 :

Closing behind her the door of the room where Clarke was locked, Lexa did not expect to feel such an apprehension. She knew that the blonde would not answer her questions directly and that she would probably have some blood on her hands when she would pass that door again. But all this shit was normal for her, it had become a habit. So she knew in her heart that her discomfort was comming from her rival. She had spent hours on her computer watching again and again the pictures taken by the cameras hidden in the Skygang landmark and Clarke had pleased her : she was strong, brave and heartless, at least at first sight. In this portrait Lexa regognized herself : the young woman who had impose herself and who was now respected by all. The brunette understood the blonde and even if she couldn't admit it, she liked her. Maybe a little bit too much actually.

But she had no choice. Her apprehension had completely dissapeared from her eyes as she turned to Clarke. « _Jus drein jus daun_ Clarke. Blood must have blood » said the young woman in a smile that she wanted to be mocking, although a hint of regret passed in her eyes.

Lexa saw Clarke turning off the TV and getting up from the bed before stepping forward. The blonde now stood a few inches from the Groundersgang's leader. And when her emerald eyes plunged into the blue ocean of the young woman's eyes, all she could see was a magnificent determination linked with an amazing resignation. A small gasp escaped from Lexa's lips, due to the sudden proximity of the woman in front of her. The brunette had retreated without noticing it and the back of her legs met violently the edge of the TV's table. The blonde had moved forward so that Lexa was stuck between her and the table. The gaze of the brunette filled with fear, but it continued to support Clarke's one.

During long seconds they remained in this position, one lost in a vast green forest, the other drowning in the blue of a deep ocean. Their breaths mingled as the smell of the other filled them and the beating of their hearts adjusted to one rhythm, strong and slow.

Clarke suddenly broke the silence. « What do you want lexa ? What do you want from me ? » she said softly as she moved back slightly. Lexa emerged from her reveries and moved from Clarke and the table but remained in front of the blonde, not letting go her gaze. « I need information. Your gang took to mine. We will now take to yours. This is how business works here. » Heda calmly explained. Lexa was beginning to regain her superiority over Clarke. « I'll ask you questions Clarke. And if you don't answer, I'll act » she said, rolling up her sleeves and wishing that she would not need to use violence or worst.

« So you're just gonna hit me until I talk that's it ? »

« I'm not gonna hit you Clarke. » declared Lexa, as surprise appeared in Clarke's eyes. « Cuts are more my thing. » said the brunette in a smirk. She then took from a pocket a fine dagger, making Clarke's delicate face pale. But she had soon recover her confidence.

« What do you want to know ? » she shouted in a dry tone.

« Several things »

« Which ones ? »

« Where is your main drug store ? »Lexa began.

As Clarke didn't answer, Lexa drew a long deep line on the blonde's forearm, causing a heavy flow of dark red blood. Clarke groaned in pain and let herself fall on the ground, knowing that she won't be able to stand up for long.

« Give me the names of all your importants clients. » a new brand was added on the right soulder of the blonde. Deeper this time. Clarke moaned again, the tips of her hair stained with blood. Her pain prevented her to see the one clearly marked in Lexa's eyes, who knew that it was only the beginning.

Lexa was seat on the bed, while Clarke's unconscious body, covered in blood, laid on the ground. The brunette felt bad. She had known from the start that the blonde would never have spoken even under torture. But she had to do what she had done. She had to be respected and in this dark world, that's how respect is earned. She apprehended what followed. Physical torture had not worked. During two hours she persevered until Clarke fainted. She had to continue now. But as she looked at the blood-red body at her feet, she didn't want to do it, she couldn't.

She got up and took towels and disinfectant in the bathroom. She then crouched down on the floor near an unconscious Clarke and watched her in silence. She seemed to be so small there, curled up on the floor. So weak despite the power that emanated from her permanently. Lexa had a relent of guilt by watching Clarke skin. She was now topless and her belly, her back and her arms were covered with cuts and some of them were still bleeding. Lexa removed some blonde hairs, wet by blood and sweat, from the young woman's face. Another cut laid on her cheek. She took a look at the blonde's beautiful face and, using a disinfected towel that she had taken in the bathroom, she gently wiped the fine wound of Clarke's face, being careful not to hurt her further. The young woman suddenly opened her eyes and screamed of fear at the sight of her assailant so close to her. Her sudden movement had reopened her wound. Clarke moaned in pain and tried to get out of Lexa's arms. But the brunette held her firmly and carried her to the bed. The blonde was too exhausted to protest but her blue eyes filled with panic.

« Clarke, calm down please. »said the brunette, gently stroking the blond hair. « I just wanted to heal your wounds. » Clarke calmed down a bit and said in a low voice : « Why are you doing this Lexa ? Why do you suddenly take care of me when you tortured me with great pleasure just before ? » A tear ran down Lexa's cheek. « I'm sorry Clarke. I'm so sorry... » she said with a sad and desperate voice, continuing to caress the blond hair.

« Oh you're sorry ? » Clarke was upset and she totaly didn't undersand the situation. She continued in a breath « How can you be there and say that you're sorry after what you did. You tortured me until I cry, until I scream in pain for informations that your gang don't even need ? You're a monster Lexa, a monster... »

Eyes wet with tears, Lexa tried to explain « But Clarke... You don't understand... if I could have not tortured you, I would have done it. But I had to do what I did. I must leave my mark and show my authority for your gang to bow and mine to prosper. That's how this world works. Yes I would like it to change but I just can't do anything. My people pass first and foremost. I'm Heda before Lexa. That's why I must do all those terrible things and then keep my guilt inside me and never talk about it. I know you understand that Clarke. » Lexa paused before continuing and Clarke could see lot of pain in those eyes that she hated and yet loved so much. « I'm talking to you as Lexa, not as Heda and it's something I haven't done for several years. I'll always be Heda more than Lexa and, Clarke, I swear, I don't want to go any further. I don't want to do that to you. But if you resist, I will, even if my heart explode in sorrow. So please give up, you don't know it, but you are so much more than a rival to me. I know you Clarke. I observed you for a long time. I know you understand what I did. » Lexa wasn't crying, all the tears of her body were gone. All she could now show was her pain and her despair.

Clarke understood Lexa. She knew what it was to get her people before everything else. That's why despite her pain and the supplicating dark green eyes above her which were trying to show her a feeling that pain prevented her from understanding, Clarke said with her brain while shutting her heart « I won't talk Lexa. But go ahead, continue your monstruosities. » She had a heavy feeling of guilt as she saw Lexa's face tearing apart with immense pain. She had made the right choice even if her heart told her the opposite. Her brain before her heart she had promised herself that.

Suddenly, Lexa's face emptied of emotion. Only the selty trace of a tear on her cheek reminded her of the confession of the Groundersgang's leader. But Clarke understood. Lexa was once again the heartless Heda.

« Well, if that's what you want. Let's start the second phase of what will lead you to answer all my questions. » Lexa smirked as her heart screamed in despair knowing the scene that was about to begin.


End file.
